Scope NYC 2011 x ARMORY

This weekend was filled with lots of dancing, webstuh snaking, studio chillin, drugging, and most importantly gallery hopping. Since Thursday I have been surfing around the west side in chelsea seeing some amazing work. The best 2 shows I went to were
Scope http://www.scope-art.com/index.php/new_york and The Armory http://www.thearmoryshow.com/cgi-local/content.cgi Both featured amazing work by contemporary (scope) and modern (armory) artists. The spaces were fucking huge. It was impossible to cover the entire show in a day. Here are a few pics of some of my favorite pieces.

Scope:

This was sick. We couldnt figure out how the fuck they got the plate to float

This was by far the coolest exhibit in the entire warehouse. If you look closely you can see the king and queen of sausage.

This painting rules because its sick zombie.....no dumbass vampire twilight BS

Now usually I'm not a fan of fine art, but this piece in the keg room of Scope just stuck out to me. The perspective, composition, and technique is just flawless. I bet this sold for at least 50k

Armory:

I thought this was sick because....well i just love screaming pussies

I want this to be the fence at my future house

Now this is special because its some horde shit. Read the caption its pretty ridiculous. I had to try sooooo hard not to kick this guy

Overall I think Scope was better, but they were both sick. Armory was kind of tainted because I left my hat at the concession stand, and when I went to go back to get it someone had already claimed it as theirs. WTF?! How would they have known a black hat in a supreme bag was there? and i had just fucking bought it! $38 down the drain. So i spent the last half hour at the armory hunting down the one mother fucker with a supreme bag to no avail. I did find and interrogate someone wearing the hat, but it was sheer coincidence....or so he claimed. Aside from that it was awesome.

This week is really shitty. I have mad work I should be doing, but instead I'm writing this. fuck it. My new think is saying "Senioritus" and blowing off work. Seriously whatever. But yeah I have my surgery on thurs so I'll be trapped on LI from wed-sat so hit me up to chill while I'm there.

Stay tuned for a special post and chance to win 4 tickets to ULTRA.......not! thats some guido shit

TGIF

This week has been a real mothafucker. Mad work, lost phone, mad money down the drain, mad bad news from doctors, but its friday, we hittin da, and Im back on the block so you know how we be doin......

Get ya dicks hard and ya pussies wet cause we in thisss

MAGIC MONDAY

Although Monday is viewed as the worst day of the week, it is most certainly not. That is because every Monday night international superstar, and hipster urban legend, Breedlove preforms down the block from me at St. Jeromes on Rivington. He is like Napolean Dynamite meets Elton John. Truly Fabulous. It makes monday the best night of the week because after we see breedlove we go over to sway to bag some big booty hoes. But I had to stop home to make the post so i can show the world that I met the super star

Sorry for the poor Iphonetography, but I had to add it. I am still star sturk

Sorry for the lack of good posts. Trust me Im work

ing on a Big one.

I leave you with this Photo of me from this weekend. I was at a party with a face paint booth. I asked for the twin towers and ended up with this:

So fucking gay...at least I got to meet this hot chick lol.

Have a good week guys, and check for updates. We have a pig scandal coming up

Keep ya hoes in check!!!!!

Booty Bandit on the loose!

Hipsta Urban Legendzzzz

This will be a short post because im lazy and grogged out. But what triggered this post were the current rumorz circulating about the famous chinatown fair arcade in nyc. Hipsta Urban Legendz are rumors,tales, or stories (most of which are greatly exaggerated, or completely fabricated) told amongst several subcultures about topics that interests only those within the circle. A big hista urban legend is that the Monday night regular at St. Jeromes, Breedlove (Blog Review of Breedlove will come soon) , has the same manager as Lady Gaga. That is most certainly untrue, but for some reason everyone believes it. Others include 7 million dollars of property damage attributed to one graffiti artist alone,The where about of several excommunicated hipsters. Now the Most recent tale tale of the trendy townspeople is that the ancient Chintown arcade will be closing.

The Chinatown Fair has been Open for over 20 years (still hasnt been cleaned), and its business still appears to be very lucrative. Although it is full with a bunch of smelly puberty stricken teenagers, and creepy gay goth ddr kids, the Chinatown Arcade is a great place where kids can still actually go to loiter. It seems like it is one of the last hangouts still around, and it most definitely is the last arcade in the city (dave and busters in times sq doesnt count), so the news that this famed hormone filled after school hangout would be closing its doors brought tears to the eyes of many.

However our star journalists over here at NYCSCUMLIFE hit the scene to find out if the hipsta urban legend was true. It turns out that Chinatown fare will be closing, but only for a couple of weeks for renovation, then it will re-open. This

was reported to me by the manager. So the myth is busted, which is a good thing because now we will be able to hit the chinatown fair for ages to come.

The best part is hitting the secret Chinatown Haagen Dazs after for the most delicious cookies and cream shake ever! Icecreamjunkie

SO tonight guys i leave with a preview of the next entry

Rockstar Bar, it;s like the Mos Eisley Cantina right in our backyard.

NYCSPRING2K(9)11

The weather has been gorgeous lately. It feels like spring is right around the corner. Maybe that little groundhog asshole was right for once. There is something about the warmer weather that makes me wanna chill on my roof and drink 40s around blunt fire. So obviously thats what we did last night. I have an amazing view of the LES sunset frommy roof.

Aint that nice? Anyway once the blunts are toasted I like to hit the streets. One of my favorite spots to chill at is East River Park. There is a great view of the waterfront, an

d they just renovated it so its mad clean and not too ma

ny people know about it.

Now if you are done with chillin down by the river and its before 7 what do you do? Of course the answer is "head to Bennys Burritos for the illest happy hour in Alphabet City". Im not a big drinker, but take me to Bennys and Im not leaving until I c

ant walk straight. There is something about Benny's that embodies the feeling of summer, especially if you are there with good friends.

So pretty much the past few days have got me stoked on summer. Although the weather is back to being cold and windy, I know that summer is right around the corner, and thats good enough reason for me to stay alive.

Summa2K(9)11 Get HYPE~!

PS. HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY TO MY HOMIE NICK. WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR MAD YEARS, AND WE ARE GONNA BE FRIENDS FOR MANY MORE! Come out to Rockstar Bar to toast Nick and get scuzzy. Im going to photo-document this evening and all the glory that comes along with it. Again, Happy Bday Nick, I hope I have to drag you home from under a table at the rock.

<3

BEEF

So pros187 you want beef? you got it!

This is a short post/ experiment. Im putting it up now before I go to work because last night I retaliated for some disrespect. TOday im going to bring out my camera and photograph the scenes of the battles to see if scumfuck pros187 double retaliated, or if he know when he is beat. I may even delete it because it is stupid to post graff on the internet. we will see

This is an example of what this asshole destroyed ( its a piece i had sitting on sheetrock i bought, not even illegal) .....i found this shit smashed!

granted its not that good, but what the fuck dont go smashing other people's shit!!!! so im taking out my camera and I will update what happens tonight at around 3. If you dont give a shit comment that this sucks and I wont make posts like this.

Lets just see how it goes.......

Now before I post this I must make a disclaimer that I DO NOT

DO GRAFFITI OR ANYTHING ELSE ILLEGAL.It is just stuff I see ar

ound the neighborhood I admire.

With that taken care of.....Whats good Pros187

whats beef?

This was done 2 days ago, and there has been no response. So I guess thats that. If there is anymore developments on this beef i will let you know......Thats that

THE HORDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So every Sunday morning for the past 10 years or so I take the day to walk around downtown Manhattan, go shopping, people watch, and just see whats good. Over the past few years I've noticed some changes. If you are walking below Houston anywhere east of Broadway you are like to stumble into it. It swallows entire communities, and leaves a putrid stench wherever it spreads to. Constantly multiplying it is the biggest threat to lower Manhattan. It is the Horde. Otherwise know as Chinatown.

Chinatown has completely taken over both Little Italy, and Tokyo, and each day encroaches closer to The Lower East Side and Soho. Today I photographed some of my findings in this strange and unforgiving land. I like to say Chinatown is where "The fish are still floppin"literally...

Unmentionable things happen there. The Horde is full of foreign stenches, sounds and sights. The most pleasant sight is the tasty and elusive "AZN BABY".

Cute than all other human larva the azn babeh is seemingly priceless. Boil it up (if it is a female) and mix with wontons and MSG for an ancient Horde delicacy.

Even the beggars are chinese in chinatown.
What a fucking jerk. He got really pissed when I took this picture.This guy probably lives in a suitcase.




So now you are warned. Be careful when in lower Manhattan because the horde is spreading, and it is hungry. The Horde is watching YOU!!!

Kill the Breeders, Breed the Killers

Unfortunately, I am one of the millions of people subject to the horrific cluster fuck that is NYC MTA Subway System everyday and night. I am also one of the lucky "double rush hour riders". I get the pleasure of being sardined into a sweaty smelly dirt hole during peak clog-age hours not once, but twice. And throughout my many travels I have taken notes and made observations that I will share with you now.


Upon entering the subway system you are immediately aware that it is rush hour. That is because of the thousands of people swarming in and out of the turnstiles. After you get raped (Im pretty sure thats what a ride on the Subway costs now a days) you get pushed and shoved all the way to the edge of the platform. Alas your train arrives. You are ready to finally sit down and relax while your train smoothly glides down the tracks all the way to your house. Except, it's more like this:





Now even though it is completely packed, and there is barely any room to move, a smelly junkie panhandler of sorts will surely saunter down the aisle screaming about why he is homely, why he needs money, and how he is not a crook". Some people will feed his smack habit, while others will simply stare at the ground and act as if they don't notice him, although its impossible. They usually look something like this:







Not everything is bad about traveling in the depths of underground Manhattan. Almost everyday I fall in love on the subway. There is always that one beautiful girl that stands out from the rest of the commuters. Sometimes she is sitting right next to you and you dont notice her until she stands up to leave. I used to play this game called "subway creep" with myself ( i have really long train rides don't ask) where you stare at a pretty girl until she notices you staring, feels creeped out, and ultimately gets up and moves to a different seat. Now a days I just hand out little notes to beautiful girls because 1) you got nothing to lose and 2) you never know when your life is gonna eternal sunshine you. So next time you see that beautiful girl say hi. Maybe she will say hi back.







The final most awful thing about the subway, aside from waiting for the G train when you are wasted at 5 am and desperately need to get to your bed, is standing next to that horrible smelly slimey unbalanced person. Sometimes they have tumors, sometimes they are hasidic, and sometimes they are just downright nasty, but it happens to all of us, and the question is, do they know that they are disturbing others? Their presence on the train is offensive to the other passengers, but they always continue to ride the rails. Sometimes Im standing next to some sweaty fat guy, and his blob stomach will be resting on my hip, and i just wanna be like" Yo man I'll pay for your cab fare as long as you get off the next stop!". So next time you are stuck next to a freak on the subway remember this:






If you see something, say something. SNITCH!!!!!

So people wonder why you hate the going to the doctor.....

It always seems to puzzle people when I say I hate going to the doctor. Although they ultimately help you out, the initial visit and diagnoses of your symptoms is quite unpleasant. As some of you may know I'm undergoing a Cancer Scare (actually) so I've been frequenting several doctors, which I absolutely hate. Every Wednesday I'm constantly poked, pricked, prodded, and scanned. The following chronicles this wednesday's Doctors visits.

It begins with me getting a tube shoved up my nose and down my throat.

I'm initially nervous

Which is well warranted because I'm getting a huge scope shoved up my nose and down my throat!

Then I am told that I have to give blood, which sucks because I am afraid of needles. As you can see I am nervous and being calmed down by blood technician.

And then she turns on me!!!!! what a ruthless whore. All I can say is OUCH

Thus you can see why I hate going to the doctor. Because the fucking suck. The way I see it, if you never went to the doctor, you would never know something was wrong with you, and you would never treat it. If you were unaware of your lung spot, will it really hurt you? Probably not, but there is the smallest chance it could, and doctors use that as an excuse to bring you in and out of the office, and test you for everything under the sun, just to say you dont have what they test you for. I do not think there would be any difference most of the time if you ignored your lumps and spots. Most of the time they just go away anyway. I think the doctors send you on a wild goose chase of x-rays and CAT scans just to make more money. They say they are taking precautions, but they are really stuffing there pockets. The only thing I could possibly get out of going to the doctor is an Oxycontin script. Anything else is just pain stress and torture. So doc unless you are prepared to fork over the 80's save me the trouble of coming into the office, and just diagnose me over the phone.

Secretly the first post

So I just discovered this blog that I made a couple of years ago. Coincidentally I just bought a camera, so with that said I'm going to use this primarily as a photo blog. I will still have the occasional rant, although the focus of this will be photography (lol).

The Photos will consist of funny things I see around the city, as well as people and certain events. For the first entry I have selected 4 photos from the past week that will speak for this blog.

Here is the lovely area where I live:

a beautiful view if I say so myself.

Here is what I see immediately when I get off the train into the Bronx....

Smells as good as it looks!!!

Some ill street trash/art

Hipster Photog

So you get the idea. Check for updates, and leave feedback fuckers. Suck it